I asked for details. I needed to know. He provided some disclosure, some omissions and a few outright lies. The trust was gone. As he began trying to regain my trust over the course of the next five or so months, a new lie was exposed and we were back to square one. After 9 months, I still didn't trust him which caused several meltdowns and the recent Freaky Fridays where all hell broke loose.
Last month I learned that my sons' barber's girlfriend cheated on him. It was a one night fling with a former boyfriend. They have a one year old baby together. He was devastated.
On Monday, after my husband's first of two surgeries, I took the boys for a haircut. The barber was lamenting over his failing relationship, saying he felt things were over as she did not appear to be trying to rebuild their relationship. He said they were just too different but he really loved her and if God would just come down and tell him that she truly loved him, he would be OK with those differences.
And it got me thinking...
I remembered hearing that when someone goes under anesthesia, just before they go out it's like a truth serum and they don't remember what they said. The next day my husband was going under general anesthesia so it would be a good opportunity to test this theory.
We arrived at the surgical center and I was with my husband when they gave him his IV and started the drugs. He does not tolerate drugs well and was loopy within seconds, babbling incoherently. Damn, this wasn't going to work.
After the surgery, he mumbled less and seemed more coherent, although he didn't retain much information, asking the same questions over and over. I didn't want to aggravate him even though he wouldn't remember, so I took the back route.
"Where's you ring?". He looked at his hand and saw he had no wedding ring. He looked distressed.
I had his wedding ring, so I held it up and asked, "do you want to marry me again?" He said yes but his finger was swollen a little and he couldn't get the ring on. He was visibly upset. I was a little surprised at his reaction.
On the way home, he held my hand as I drove and I said to him, "it's all over, everything's fine. I love you." All of a sudden he started crying like a baby. I asked him what was wrong, but he kept crying. I asked him again what was wrong, but he didn't say, dabbing his eyes with a tissue as he sobbed.
When we were almost home he said, "I'm glad I have you."
We arrived home and I asked again if he wanted to marry me. He said yes. We got his ring on.
He asked me lay down with him and wrapped his arms around me. He said, 'Remember I used to hold you like this in your purple sweatshirt?'. I said, "yes" and then, "it's been a tough year so far." He got teary again and said, "The next 1/2 will be better. I love you."
He fell asleep and when he woke up several hours later he had very little recollection of our conversations. I asked him if he remembered crying. He said he did. I asked him why he cried and he said, 'because I love you."
And I believed him...
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