Liar, Liar..

...pants on fire. 

'I didn't have sex with her.  We fooled around but didn't have intercourse'.  "Did she blow you?"  'No'.  And then there was herpes...(previous post)

Once the 'I didn't have sex with her' dialogue was refuted, 'it was only two times' was the next statement.  According to him, 'the sex sucked, he had a hard time getting it up and keeping it up'.  So for the three months you spend every free moment with this skank I am supposed to believe you only screwed her twice?  Do I look like a moron to you?  

So then we progressed to, 'Well we tried to more than that but it just didn't work right'  So again I asked, "Did she give you blow jobs?" 'Yes'.  "If the sex was so bad, why did you do it for 3 months?"  'It was a sore spot for her.  She said I couldn't do it because I was thinking of you'.  Is Mr. Honesty following the standard cheat manual dialogue? While satisfying to hear the last declaration, I doubt it was true. 

I invited my cousin over for dinner the other night and my husband came home towards the end of our visit.  It was a beautiful night and we were sitting on the deck.  He grabbed a wine glass and decided he'd join us.  He can be quite charming and is usually very amusing. People do enjoy his stories and anecdotes. This particular night's conversation centered predominantly around his family's 'mental issues' as an uncle had died earlier in the week.  He lectured about personas and how some of his cousins present 'false images', proudly stating how he is honest and up front with everything and everyone, and always is up front and truthful with our children.  He never lies...

My cousin knows everything.  EVERYTHING.  Kudos to her for maintaining a poker face and engaging him in his animated story. I would occasionally catch her eye, barely keeping a straight face.  When he finally left, she looked at me and said one word... 

"Really?"